How to Deal With Embarrassment: Kill it

Think of the reason you, your friend, whoever, lies about their height (5’10 =/= “six feet tall” boys).  Think of the reason you or someone you know sugarcoats the fact they are unemployed or live at home with mom and dad.  Think of the reason some hypothetical guy (not you, of course) avoids doing the things he isn’t spectacular at, like chatting up the pretty girl standing a few feet away on the subway.


At least no one thinks I am a creep…

Why do we make those bad decisions?

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Living With Death

Most people live like the goal is to finish.  Like the point were simply to get to the end.  Which in their minds is a long way off.  So they live cautiously.  They protect themselves. They avoid getting hurt.  They play defense.

They’re wrong.  The end isn’t far.  We’re born on the precipice, we spend our lives at the end.  Even if you live risk-free.  It will all be gone, very very soon.  And pieces of it, people you love, all those things you think you can protect, will be gone even before you.

What else do we have to lose?

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Who Am I?

Stubborn people wont change shit about themselves.  They insist that every bad habit is just part of who they are.  When they’re rude to waiters.  Part of who they are.  When they hit on girls like total creepers and then laugh about it like they didn’t actually want to do well.  Part of who they are.


We all know

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6 Chipotle Hacks for Getting FREE Chipotle

Smile and greet the staff

Chipotle workers, like everyone else in the world, go through their day jobs on autopilot.  “Bowl or Burrito?”  “For here or to go?” “You know guac costs $2.25 extra?”

If you don’t snap them out of assembly line mode, you’re going to get short changed.  So when it’s your turn to order, pause for a brief second, look them in the eye confidently, ask them how they are doing, and WAIT until they respond before moving on.  HOLD THAT LINE.  You will literally watch this person wake up out of a coma.  And now they are primed to make the best bowl ever.  Speaking of which . . .

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Why Is Learning So Hard?

Why is learning so hard?  It’s the ultimate psychological screw up.

The process of learning, of pushing your edge, is uncomfortable.  It’s not a state people unwittingly insert themselves into, like say a TV marathon.  It’s an active participation in a state that is not supported by short term pleasure seeking psychology.

The flip side of the coin is that in the long term,

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Every Day is Halloween

How men should dress: every day is Halloween — dress the part.

Think of it this way.  Every single day you wear a costume.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Your entire life you have been getting up and putting on your “normal guy” costume.  So people treat you like a normal guy.

Try this instead:

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Why Do People Drink: The Lifelong Hangover

Why do people drink?  It seems like a crazy decision for reasons everyone knows.  Namely:

1)   It’s expensive
2)   It ruins your tomorrow
3)   It is unhealthy

Duh.  Those are obvious and everyone drinks knowing those consequences.  But there is a reason even worse than all of those combined.  And it explains why people drink even though it ruins their tomorrow.

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Make a Decision: Escaping the Crowd-Sourced Reality

We live in a crowdsourced reality.  The whole world is one big damn wiki-cult.  Everyone is simultaneously making, following, and enforcing arbitrary rules.

Think of it this way: It’s like we’re all taking this big test called “Life.”  And “Life” is full of questions like “When is it okay to lie?” and “Is it wrong to eat meat?” and “Is it okay to walk up to a pretty girl on the Subway and say ‘Hi’”

These big questions determine EVERYTHING.  Your answers are what make you, you.

So you think people would really reach deep when considering their answers to all the questions posed by “Life.”  You don’t want to fuck up a test of that magnitude.

Except people don’t reach deep.  They hardly reach inside at all.

Instead, everybody cheats off one another.  No one is willing to make a decision.

People don’t know how they feel about anything.  They are always looking for cues.  Always looking for a social signal to let them know when to laugh, when to cry, when to scream indignantly.   They plagiarize the communal zeitgeist for answers to questions on love, ethics, the meaning of a life well-lived.

Your job is to be the one kid writing his own answers.  Your job is to be the valuemaker. Your job is to make a decision.

Stop following the rules.  Make better rules, instead

Decide how you feel.  Decide what matters and what’s bullshit.  Decide what is okay and not okay, where the lines are.  Then live it.  Expect other people to follow suit and they will.


Are you doing this one thing to make a great first impression on anyone you meet?

Unfortunately, most people aren’t. This one simple fix can drastically improve the quality of your first impressions so people are eager and excited to see you again. It takes less than four minutes to read and is 100% free.


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