This is a piece I wrote a few years ago. I wrote it for myself, in a moment of frustration and disappointment. I hadn’t planned to ever share it, but I think you might be able to relate. If you’ve ever felt this way, well, that makes two of us. The good news is, it doesn’t have to stay this way…
I live a shadow life.
I play imaginary concerts with my imaginary singing skills. I have imaginary conversations with pretty girls. I give imaginary thanks to the people I care most about. I display imaginary courage.
What am I really doing?
Prowling Facebook, reading garbage internet articles, watching garbage internet videos. Avoiding doing the things I need to, fantasizing about wild success.
Walking to Whole Foods, I passed a pretty girl. I turned. She was waiting at the light 10 steps away, yoga mat sticking out of her bag. Beautiful, obviously into fitness.
“Fuck” I said, and continued walking.
Blocks later, I am having a wonderful imaginary conversation with her. Another block and I am introducing her to Ben. She has come out to see an improv show with us. She is sweet and witty with a big laugh. Ben congratulates me on the catch. I smile.
Then I stop.
I am not talking to a pretty girl. She is not coming with me to improv. I am walking through the street in my sweatpants, heading to Chipotle. Alone and silent.
The smile on my face is an embarrassment. A sick sort of consolation. A disgusting and perverted cognitive trick to obscure the fact that I am living in a Matrix of my own creation. It’s a shadow life. The one I should be living. It calls to me.
Do you know the 4 emotions you need to make a great first impression every time?
If you create these 4 emotions in a SPECIFIC order, you are guaranteed to make an amazing first impression. Get the order wrong…and it won’t turn out so well. This explanatory video takes less than seven minutes to watch and is 100% free.