A Hidden Cause Of Suffering

I just got back from lunch with my brother.

We haven’t spoken for a while, so we played a lot of catch up. “How’s so-and-so doing?” we asked about a dozen times.

He told me the story of one of those so-and-so’s…

A friend of his who wanted to take his girlfriend out for her birthday. So he set up a nice trip to ski in California.

My brother was under the impression it was an amazing trip. All the Snapchat’s were full of smiles on the slopes and glasses of red wine at fancy restaurants.

When his friend got back, my brother asked about the trip.

His friend replied, “It was so hard man…”

“She nearly made me cry. She couldn’t believe I took her away from home on her birthday. She said it was the worst birthday she ever had.”

The friend kept talking and telling how they fight all the time, despite what social media would lead you to believe. My brother asked if they’d break up. And that’s when he got the real kicker:

“Actually we’re planning on moving in together next month.”

When I hear stories like this, one word rings in my head. One word that I believe describes the number one reason for anguish in modern America.

Addiction.

And I don’t just mean addiction to drugs or alcohol, which is how we tend to think of addiction…

I mean the girl so addicted to social validation that she fakes a happier lifestyle than she lives…

I mean the friend so addicted to his relationship that he would rather move in with someone who treats him badly than be alone…

Both of them addicted to a compulsive behavior that THEY KNOW makes them unhappy. Yet they don’t stop.

Can you think of anything in your own life that follows that pattern? Here’s a few examples:

  • Addiction to status keeping you in a job that you hate
  • Addiction to outrage keeping you watching the news and complaining about it, while taking no action to actually change things
  • Addiction to a relationship keeping you with someone that you know isn’t right for you
  • Addiction to social media keeping you in a constant state of FOMO

I am 100% going to be creating more on the topic of addiction because I think breaking the cycle has the power to make a lot more people a lot happier. In the meantime though, I’m curious:

Can you spot any addictive behaviors in your own life?

Whether it’s obvious, like drugs and alcohol, or less obvious, like to social status, I’d be curious to hear what you might be struggling with.

I won’t share anybody’s name, but the more examples that I can get from your experience and my own, the more comprehensive the solution can be.

So if you’re game to share, please share in the comments or send me an email (Charlie @ CharismaOnCommand.com) and let me know.

More to come on this soon

 

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61 Responses to “A Hidden Cause Of Suffering”

  • I was so addicted to my previous partner, it was scary… He wasn’t abusive or anything, but it was clear that we weren’t right for each other, yet I kept holding on to the relationship. When we finally broke up I went through a phase of withdrawal. Even though I knew it was for the best, I kept crying and missing him. Until I got used to being alone, and honestly, I became happier than I’d ever been in the relationship.

    I see the same in a lot of my friends’ relationships and I feel sorry for them. Realising that I could be happy on my own has been such a liberation for me, and I wish others could experience that too. I hate to see people settle for less than they deserve.

  • Hey Charlie, I’ve watched a few of your videos and read emails you send out every so often so I’d say I’m a fan of how well thought out many of your posts are. However, I would be careful here.

    Though I know this is a first-of-many posts one could very easily interpret this as judgemental, i.e. the ease with which you seem to point the finger to addiction within the lives of others.

    EVERYONE struggles with addictions in one form or another, and you would be wise to include yourself in that for the sake of a rounded discussion. I myself have struggled with addiction to YouTube videos, in that I often watch random videos on instinct rather than desire.

    Something to consider.

  • Might be … I plan on doing ventures designed on bringing me more cash but up until now I had rarely done them
    Addiction to plannin?

  • Hey Charlie. I am struggling with my own addiction since I could remember. Food. I eat more crap than I’d like to admit, too much, too often. I didn’t grow up in a food healthy household and it has carried on into adulthood. When I do eat healthy food, I like it, so it’s not that I don’t try, but I think it’s something in my brain that keeps me making the worse eating choices, perhaps because it’s familiar? I’m not morbidly obese and some wouldn’t even call me fat, but I’m not at my best. Often when I eat unhealthy foods it’s sugary or fatty. And I go through withdrawals when I’m refraining from it. But cutting out sugar is as absolute must so I’ve cut out things like candy and cookies. I don’t usually write back but since it’s something I’m actively working on I thought, why not. Thanks.

    • Hey Sam! After reading your comment I was reminded of the book, “Mini Habits for Weight Loss” by Stephen Guise. A lot of the book is about nutrition – he cites lots of studies and explains what makes some foods healthier (and better for weight loss) than others. He also talks about how to form new habits in actionable ways so that healthy eating becomes a lifelong habit instead of a short term goal. It might be worth checking out. 🙂

  • Hey Charlie,

    Thanks for the good post. I’m definitely addicted to social media and the magnet-like power that constantly keeps me checking my phone. It’s funny how I keep coming back to both despite finding myself happier when I leave my phone at home or stay away from social media for a while.

    And like your brother’s friend, I find myself returning to a relationship over and over despite not being treated right.

  • Chapter 4 about loving yourself: http://joernmalek.com/ma/amarse_eng.html

    Stay free of addictions

    This is the most difficult of all. We say that we are accustomed to doing things in a certain way. Changing customs is the hardest and most difficult. We say that many of these things are our culture or custom, or that we do not know how to do it differently. It’s actually an addiction. A person without addiction is free of them, a freethinker.

    For example if you have arthritis, what do you prefer, continue with arthritis or stop eating salt. Most people choose to continue eating salt and take pain pills.

    The list of addictions is very long and the way of leaving them is quite hard for lots of people. But if you want to start loving your neighbor, which is the thing that most joy and happiness will give you, you have to start loving yourself first. If you keep a harmful addiction, knowing it is harmful, you do not love yourself, right? Because if you really love yourself, you’re not going to hurt yourself.

    1. Complete protein addictions:
    The most fatal addiction not only for us, but for all humanity and almost all countries of the world, is the addiction to complete proteins. When a person says, “I can not be without eating this or another complete protein”, he is addicted to it. The complete proteins are: Meat, fish, eggs, dairy products, rice and beans together.

    Not only do we spend human food fattening animals, while 50,000 people die of hunger every day, we get sick with these addictions and the sick people break the social security systems of most countries. Almost every country in Europe and the United States is bankrupt. Today in Costa Rica people spend on average 13 years of their lives sick, and increasing. On every streetcorner there is a drugstore and a doctor. Back to top 2. Addictions to cultures and religions
    This addiction in its extreme form produces fanaticism. National fanaticism and religious fanaticism has killed more people than all wars combined.

    In Iran, if you do not believe in Muhammad, you are doomed to die. In 1940 in Germany if you were Jewish, they also killed you. For 400 years, Catholics and Protestants have killed as many as 1,500 witches a day. Today the killings between Shiites and Sunnis in the Middle East continue. Logically all these killings are carried out in the name of God because each one has God by his side. As Einstein has said: “There are two infinite things, the universe and the stupidity of the people, and about the first I am not completely sure.” If you think this is an exaggeration look at this shocking list: The heritage of Christians
    The sad thing about all this is, that people do not realize that they believe something because they do not know it or simply because they can not know it. If we would know it, we do not have to believe it. Besides, all our thoughts are based on words. Words are nothing more than words, period. Words should not kill anyone, but it seems that they do not serve much to communicate, but more to separate and make people intolerant. We do not know who invented and translated all these deadly words. I wish we could reflect and investigate more where they came from and who wrote certain words, before saying or using them as if they were truths.

    Have a happy day
    Jörn

  • My worst addiction is pornography, to be totally sincere. Porn and masturbation. And I can’t talk with any of my friends about it, differently of what would happen if the case was alcohol, for instance. That’s my worst addiction. (John is fake name.)

  • Love this – I once heard it said ‘There’s no win in comparison’ …(though a little bit goes a long long way) The scope of things we can consume ourselves with, compare to and compete with is out of control. Please keep sharing your thoughts on this! We love your work 🙂

  • Short and inspirational Carlos. Thanks

    I think calling it addiction may lack the needed compassion towards ourselves and therefore makes harder to discover this recurring patterns.

    Addiction, patterns, comfort-zone… They all recall the same for me: Safety.
    This causes an enormous underlying effort that jeopardise one of our greatest gifts: To create the new.

    You want examples right. So from myself:
    Addiction to stay with the same gf/lover even thought my intuition shouts: JUMP.
    Addiction to repeat the same dishes cooking.
    Addiction to meet new girls.
    Addiction to wake up at the same time.
    Addiction to buy in the same supermarket.
    Addiction to drink coffee every morning.
    Addiction to nap after lunch for 13 minutes.
    Addiction to …

    • There is no built in judgement in the word addiction. It does inherently not convey compassion, or lack thereof, although many use it as a weapon of judgement.

  • It’s so true… Brene Brown talks about this too (as I’m sure others do), but it’s something we really have to be conscious of. People think addiction is just about drugs or even things like sugar, but really, we’re all addicted to the secondary gain we get from things that we know aren’t good for us. As always, you are making me think, Charlie. Love your vids too. Please keep ’em coming! On that note, I would love to see a breakdown of Brene Brown, although she may not be famous enough…??? Dunno, as I am not living in America.

  • hey man initial reaction. I like your stuff and think you’re on to something but if you’re writing about addiction and finishing with a giant happy face, you’re approach is wrong. Being real is more important than being positive all the time, a difficult lesson i’ve learned over the last 6 months. You’re right about addiction being an important issue, possibly THE issue in modern society, but, like omar says, “you come at the king, you best not miss.” If you wanna write about addiction, you better know what you’re doing, and this blog post is half-assed and not real. Just letting you know because I like your stuff and think its important.

    • i possibly misinterpreted the smiley face. If the smiley face is what we all put on the deal with our addictions, it makes total sense. Took me a couple minutes to reflect.

  • I’m somewhat addicted to wanting validation. I try not to be obvious about it, since the more you seek validation the less you get, but it still comes through in how I compulsively buy more and more clothes to get compliments.

  • Hi Charlie,
    Great Post, I really thank you.
    I just noticed how addicted I am to checking the (politic) news all the time and the complaining about all those politicians. On one side, I’m really interested in politics and want to be informed, on the other side, I spend so much time even on topics, that don’t really interest me. Do you have any tips to improve this situation?
    Greetings from Germany
    Jack

  • A common one that the vast majority of society isn’t aware of is porn addiction. It has destroyed marriages, relationships, and many people’s libido and self-esteem.

    Check out yourbrainonporn.com and Reddit NoFap.

  • So I’m working on a habbit that is a big problem in my job and our modern society, It’s being a workaholic. I read about it a little yesterday as my father bought a book on stress and how to manage it and told me about some interresting things out of it and gave me some pages to look at and yes, I have a little problem there. The last two weeks I pushed myself to work harder than usaly in pursuit of my goals which lead me to compromise sleep and wellbeing for work and caffeine (another addiction that is linked to the first one, probably one of the most widely spread addictions and drug, thought its not that harmless how many think). In fact, even if I know I have to get to sleep now and things can wait I start to do some work for another hour and deprive my own sleep. I have problems with my stomach because of the stress, obviously im tired and started to forget things easily, couldn’t even handle short-term memories for a day or two. Im not that far in to be burned out but I think you should mention this addiction and discuss it a little charlie, as its a verry dangerous pitfall. It’s seen in a positive maneer to work a lot, to sleep less and to be tired of work but if a person don’t find its own balance, it will for sure end out in burnout that is far less plesant than it sounds at first… So yeah, I think the topic of addiction is something adressed far not often enought as it pretty much controlls most of peoples lifes and they don’t even chose it themselves. Addiction always will be a part of humans I guess but the important thing is to keep the upper hand on them and manage them properly.

  • Im not shure but i think im kind of addicted to, well, men. It really seams as i need a man to love me. Or at least to want me, and i absolutely hate that part of myself but i have no idea how to get rid of it.
    Help XD

    Thank you for your posts Charlie 🙂 they really help a lot of people.

  • I’ve made a game out of it. Spot the addiction. I’ve got mine. Most everyone has some kind of addiction, the only question is how deep the habit runs and how socially acceptable it is.

    Go into a convenience store and try to find a product that isn’t loaded with sugar, caffeine, salt, or fat. Alcohol seems to be falling out of favor but it and nicotine are still heavy hitters. Anger can be addictive, just like rumor-mongering and people pleasing.

    Like Lukas said, they can be viewed positively by society too like being a workaholic. Most people associate addictions with substances but they can really be boiled down to any unnecessary behavior that has the possibility to cause hard that you would rather do less often but can’t seem to stop.

  • How about food? How about sweets, to be more precise? How to balance that? Out of work, much more than I can handle, lack of sleep, I tend to eat sweets, to get that instant energy. Because being energetic will help me do the work.
    Can you, please, give your point of view, maybe even some advice?
    Ps. Great job!

  • Is this really called addition? The social part, maybe, but to not leave the security of a job or a relationship?

    I see that more of a resistance to change which we all try to avoid to the max..

  • I have an addictive behaviour that I’m absolutely not proud of, and I realize it is somewhere on the borderline of stalking… Especially since I have been stalked myself once, and found it very diconcerting even if that person was very open about wanting to have chats all the time. But it’s also weird and a bit meta-fascinating that the technological society we live in allows me this behavior. I have a crush on a colleague whom I meet irregularly every day at work – we have a relaxed vibe when we talk in real life and I genuinely like this person. The unhealthy behaviour is that I keep repeatedly throughout the day (and weekend) looking at this person’s facebook chat status (showing “Active now” or active whenever long ago) but not making contact – largely because I am “almost friends but not quite” with this person, so reaching out via the chat out of the blue feels a bit unnatural, and I don’t want to intrude (or worse, be taken for a stalker). I know it is utterly futile, but something keeps drawing me back to checking. I keep rationalizing to myself that I shouldn’t disturb, but ultimately I am disturbing myself…
    For context, I should mention for context that I am historically very afraid of making first contact, because I feel such a huge sense of responsibility whenever I consider starting anything with someone new…

  • I was addicted to a friendship I had. She made me feel validated and she also made me feel like she was the only one that cared for me. I got in a fight with her last week and we didn’t talk for about a week. It made me open my eyes and realise that she had been doing this for me for a long time now. My friends and family approached me and told me they were so happy I had come back to them… I was truly blind before. I struggle with depression and my “friendship” with her made it worse. Now I have separated myself from her and I feel way freer and I am able to become friends with myself again.

  • I’m addicted to gaming. I don’t play, I’ve stopped. But every now and then I go play again, for 15 hours straight! Then I unistall. Then in a few weeks or months, I make up some reason of why I should start gaming again. I’d really appreciate some help. I don’t mind if you post my name, I’d like all the help I can get to overcome this. I mean, really, this is very annoying. I battle my own mind about whether to game or not, and I’m sure others with addictions feel the same. Battling their own mind and coming up with reasons that feel valid. Thank you.

    • Hi Koi,
      I think addictions and habits are closely related. So if you think of your gaming in terms of a habit, maybe it would be easier to break. For instance, you don’t like your habit of gaming, is there a healthier habit that you’d like to have instead? Maybe next time you feel the urge to play a game and you’re thinking to yourself, “should I? or should I not?” you can tell yourself you have to go out for a walk first. Or pick up a book instead. Think about what you want yourself to be spending time on, and gradually replace your gaming time with other things that you think would make your life better. I highly recommend the book, “Mini Habits” by Stephen Guise.

  • I’ve suffered from addictions my whole life. I grew up addicted to sugar and caffeine, but by middle childhood I was already hooked on a hard drug called porn. By 18 I was addicted to smoking weed recreationally, which became habitual by 19. I drank since 18 but my alcoholism hit it’s peak when I turned 21.
    I am 22 and trying to curb many of my addictions, but my newest addiction is the girl I’m with. I know its a toxic relationship, but it’s like I can’t get enough of her. No matter how many times she’s hurt me, I keep crawling back.

  • Hi Charlie! Great blog post as usual! I sometimes, when I dont do anything I consider useful, during the day, get really numb. Not sad, but depressed. And thats my addiction. Once I get numb once, I’ve noticed its really hard to break the cycle. However, your incantation exercise from your book has helped me break the cycle lots of time now. So thanks! Keep uo the good work

  • Charlie Houpert

    Addiction is a two edged sword

    Addiction is generally understood as a negative and not positive.
    Definition of addiction
    1. the quality or state of being addicted addiction to reading
    2. compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (such as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful
    3. an unusually great interest in something or a need to do or have something

    Thesaurus: Synonyms and Antonyms of addiction
    1. a physiological need for certain drugs an addiction to heroin Synonyms dependence (also dependance), habit, jones [slang], monkeyRelated Words alcoholism, heroinism, morphinism; habituation, tolerance

    Where would we be without Addictive Behavior?
    Top 10 Inventors of all Time; http://www.biographyonline.net/scientists/top-10-inventors.html
    1. Thomas Edison (1847–1931) Edison filed over 1000 patents. He developed and innovated a wide range of products from the electric light bulb to the phonograph and motion picture camera.
    2. The Wright Brothers Successfully designed, built and flew the first powered aircraft, showing that man could fly. One of most important inventions of Twentieth Century.
    3. Benjamin Franklin (1705–1790) Polymath who discovered electricity and invented the Franklin stove.
    4. Nikola Tesla (1856–1943) Serbian-born scientist who emigrated to the US. He was a brilliant scientist who played a key role in the development of AC electricity, through the AC induction motor, transformer, and Tesla coil. His method of AC electricity has been the template for global electricity use.
    5. Charles Babbage (1791–1871) Created first mechanical computer, which proved to be the prototype for future computers. Considered to be the ‘Father of Computers’.
    6. James Watt (1736–1819) Inventor of the steam engine, which was critical in the industrial revolution. His invention of a separate condensing chamber greatly improved the efficiency of steam.
    7. Alexander Bell (1847–1922) Credited with inventing the first practical telephone. Also worked on optical telecommunications, aeronautics and hydrofoils.
    8. Leonardo Da Vinci (1452–1519) One of the greatest ever minds. He invented models that proved workable 3-500 years later.
    9. Galileo (1564–1642) Developed a powerful telescope and confirmed revolutionary theories about the nature of the world. Also developed an improved compass.
    10. Tim Berners Lee Developed the http:// protocol for the internet, making the World Wide Web freely available.

    I think that the problem is “the subject for one’s addition” and not addition.

    Addition has driven man to think beyond himself and dream “What If” and then realize that dream or better yet the road one covers to attain their dream. I think greater value is in the actual journey than the ultimate destination – in most cases.

    Just my thoughts – enjoy

  • GREAT job, Charlie. I just love your posts — they’re intelligent, thoughtful, definitely out of the box, and they flow clearly. They’re honest, they can be quite raw. This is wonderful.

    The addictions I May have (i.e., I may merely be “calling” them addictions so I have a reason to castigate and belittle myself, which is one of the addictions I’m looking at) include the foregoing, as well as old habits that are nothing more than that — difficult habits to break. They are NOT addictions, so we do have to be careful in drawing the albeit-hazy borders between the two. In addition, I have a few standard habits that are officially termed by DSM lovers, such as RX meds that I do believe help get me through the day without flipping up and down like a [whatever, fill in the blank], or such as reacting in certain ways to my partner when he turns on a certain way of talking that I really could take either negatively or neutrally, even positively! I almost always still choose negativity. That’s BS, because it’s narrow-minded and it’s painful, but it IS what I do unless I am being 1) present and 2) conscious, which just gets difficult if I am not sufficiently on the ground. So in a way, the only med necessary for what we mistakenly, I believe, call addiction (In Most Cases) is merely propagating self-awareness and presence, which translates to strength. I suspect that’s some heavy foreign material for most people. What do you think about that, Charlie?? I honestly do tend to think 99.9% of people are walking dead, because it’s so freaking painful to look at oneself as deeply as necessary to find peace of mind; it’s also what I see every night and day on the street. Tell me if you disagree! I Really would like someone’s (like yours) perspective. lynelle

  • I’m addicted to being popular and making sure my friends know I’m best human in the room. I love being fun and the centre of attention and will do or say almost anything to stay there.

  • Hi My name is Luisa and im from mexico, I’ve been watching your program for a long time I think you are amazing and I just wanted to thank you for teaching me so much I hope you have an amazing week!

  • My biggest addiction is dreaming of succes with women and take too little action. With dreaming about succes i mean that I watch a lot of video’s on youtube about ‘pick up and self-development’ and finally I stay in my comfortzone and don’t get a relationship.

  • I was once very addicted to my ex-boyfriend, to such extent that I still think it was nothing short of a miracle when I finally was over him.
    I still am addicted to eating whatever sugary thing to get me high and to having people invite me to do stuff, even though I need to lose weight and could use quiet time and maybe new friends.

  • Who are you, and why are you sending me an email?

    On a serious note, I disagree with this post. If anything, I find people now are more than ever “ego-less”. They do not care about status, appearances, distractions, in general. They partake when it entertains them.

    I am aware that as individuals we tend to live in small circles of people, and have biased views. But what I observe around me are mostly individuals that are not distracted by noise, and actively seeking to focus on the signals.

    I am starting to think that the “cliché” attention seekers, social media addicts, and drama seeking people, are mostly a construct of the media conglomerates.

  • My biggest addiction is comfort/safety. I’ve avoided pursuing the kind of lifestyle I want and finding the kind of people I’d genuinely want to hang out with longterm, because I’m afraid of failure and discomfort at expanding beyond how I currently know how to live, even though it’s toxic to my self esteem. I’ve been taking more actions to change that lately thanks to your videos/courses and other resources you’ve recommended (for example I’m starting an improv class on Sunday), which I can’t thank you enough for Charlie 🙂 . Beyond that I’ve been addicted to gaming before but the safety one is far more pervasive, hard to break, and damaging.

  • Hi Charlie , I’ m impressed by your channel on youtube . I’m your fan . How do you manage to stay in a positive mood all the day ? Could you give me some advices , pls. Thanks.

    • I don’t actually manage to stay positive all day! I think the most important thing is to create an environment that supports you being happy. For me that has meant living in places with lots of sunny days and spending a whole lot of time with my friends. It doesn’t guarantee that I’m positive every moment of the day, but it does make it much easier overall

  • Wow, that is a strange story. Thanks for sharing.

    Top of my mind,… I’m addicted to constantly watching the news, the news of the week can be summarized in half an hour. Yet still, I compulsively check news sites if something interesting happened.

  • I addicted to love from others and to understand others but mostly people avoiding me or wants to hurt me and l don’t know why some time they run away from me , maybe because my scary personality
    I don’t know why???

  • I want what I want and I want it NOW!
    Yeah I have and addictive personality.
    It’s the obsession and compulsion I have to watch out for.
    As long as I can do things in moderation and get outside myself through service to others, I can live a life of freedom.
    Good article!

  • I just realized that you have a blog.
    I watch your videos regularly, and even encourage my family to do so also. I consider it like taking courses in college on social interaction.
    I’m happy too add your blog to my arsenal.

  • Hi Charlie I read your article about “Hidden cause of suffering” and I can’t avoid to tell something about this.
    Right in these days I was thinking about my situation with my boyfriend.
    And what you wrote reflect exactly what I was thinking about.
    I wanted to write about the “faking” imagine that we share on social networks.
    If I think about how I showed on instagram my last week end I would say it was perfect: on Saturday night an elegant dinner with his friends, then sleeping at his home and the next day trip on the snow.
    And anyone who watches it, would say “wow, she’s very lucky”
    But the fact is that they don’t know what a pic can hide behind.
    Behind photos, yes we enjoyed, but it was much the time that we didn’t speak than the time we spoke about something.
    And I stared to be doubtful about my happiness with him.
    What you wrote makes me think about the fact that probably I’m showing my “happiness“ with him through social networks because I want to feel “approved” and I’m conscious that this could become an addiction.

    But a part from this I don’t want to say that everything I share is fake, because I almost always share something that makes me really happy.
    And instead when I’m living bad moments, I must study or I have to do some thing bad I don’t want to share it.
    This helps me a lot to avoid to be “gealous” when I watch the “beautiful life” of someone on instagram.
    Because I know that I don’t know what there is behind.
    So if I have to be happy for someone I want to hear his words from his mouth, I want to hear him telling me what happened.
    And not what he shared on social networks.
    This is an important thing that all young should learn.
    Often happens that watching stories of the life of famous people, youngs (some friends of mine too) feel depressed because they are influenced by the beautiful imagine of the life that these person give through photos.
    I would say that if they want to be only follower they must know that life can’t be represented by photos. They must consider that also their life isn’t so perfect as it seems to be, even if sad things won’t be represented.
    And they must realised that instead of remain follower depressing on the other’s life, they must use these stories as a motivation to do things!
    For example if they follow a travel blogger they don’t have to feel depressed because they can’t travel.
    I realised that if you want to travel, also if you don’t have money, if you really want it, you CAN.
    And so a travel blogger should influence his follower to travel like him and not to make them gealous.
    We must be influencer and know how to influence in the right way.
    And we must be follower but know that the a big piece of real life hides behind social networks.

    Anyway I must tell you that your videos and your articles help me a lot.
    Thank you for your advices.
    You are the influencer that I meant before. You influence in a positive and helpful way 👌🏻

  • I was addicted to my best friend. Then had feelings for her, But then I never talked about it, distanced my self by ignoring her, then I thought she didn’t have any feelings towards me, I thought she didn’t even care that I was her friend, then I said a lot of shit to her! Complicated things and hurt her pretty baa and deep! Now I realise she always considered me her best friend and my feelings for her faded away, and I got to know that all that “she doesn’t care” was in my head! Now she won’t ever trust me! I messed it up pretty bad with her!! But still crave for her friendship like an addict!

  • Addicted to my phone. I barely post anything myself, I just watch a lot of YouTube videos and check other people’s Instagram and Snapchat. Some days I literally can’t get anything done cause I just can’t put phone away. Very frustrating..

  • Hi Charlie
    I was wandering if you would have a word of advice about my addiction issues. In recent times i started struggling with my nail biting and smoking addiction. Every time i try to stop smoking i start biting on my nails and vice versa. My biggest problem is lack of motivation to do something about it. I don’t want other people to solve my problems, but help would be appreciated. I watched a ton of videos on Youtube about motivation boosts but guess what, they’re bullshit.
    I hope you will be able to help me.
    I love your work, keep it up.

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