“What if” questions control most people’s lives.
- What if my boss doesn’t like my idea?
- What if the joke I want to tell doesn’t go over well?
- What if I let this person know I like them and they don’t reciprocate?
- What if I let my friend know they’ve upset me and they think I’m being silly?
- What if quit my job and then can’t find more work and everyone thinks I’m stupid?
Mission accomplished…except the mission got confusedThe goal is not to avoid failure. The goal is to thrive. The goal is to connect, to lead, and to love. The issue is that we assumed that the answer to our “what if…” question was “catastrophe and failure.” The real answer to life’s “what if’s” is always this: It will be okay. Please, please, please, realize this: No matter what happens, you will be okay.
- If you crack a terrible joke in front of a crowd, you will be okay.
- If you reveal your feelings to someone who doesn’t reciprocate, you will be okay.
- If you start a business, sink your savings into it, and lose it all – you will be okay.
- If you get fired and everyone you know thinks you are incompetent, you will be okay.
No matter the outcome, life will go onRealizing this gives you license to fail. Which gives you license to try. Which is something most people never do. Most people stick with the comfortable option. Whether it is the job, the relationship, or just staying quiet at a party instead of chatting up a stranger. So when you are trying new things, taking risks, and succeeding or failing without an existential crisis, people notice. You appear unshakeable. You are undaunted by the fear of failure that controls their lives. People flock to this self-assuredness. It’s like a magnet. Everyone is just as deathly afraid of failure as you may sometimes feel. When you give them an example of ”okayness” you open up new possibilities for them. You lead by example. And far from judging you negatively, they will admire you for it. I knew living in Brazil was a dream of mine. Even if it flopped it was a worthwhile pursuit. I had no guarantees, but I thought about it:
When I am 95, wasting away in bed, looking back at my life, which will I regret more…That time when I was 24 and I moved to Brazil? Or living my life at half tilt because I was too afraid to take a chance at the dream? I told people that a few weeks before I left for Brazil. I’d watch their eyes light up. It was like a veil was lifted. For a second, all their excuses were revealed to be illusory. In total, ten people actually left their lives behind to move to Rio de Janeiro. Three who were virtual strangers wound up living with my best friend Ben and I. Now they are some of my closest friends in the world. Everything will be okay. You’ll regret the chances you didn’t take more than the ones you did. When you realize this, risks become more worthwhile and people flock to your example… If you liked this excerpt and want to read more you can check out the full book, Charisma on Command, on Amazon.
Do you know the 4 emotions you need to make a great first impression every time?
If you create these 4 emotions in a SPECIFIC order, you are guaranteed to make an amazing first impression. Get the order wrong…and it won’t turn out so well. This explanatory video takes less than seven minutes to watch and is 100% free.