Grind it Out

I don’t play football. I never did. I can’t tell you the difference between a Wildcat and a Power I.  But I grew up in America, and I picked up some football cliches, that I’m sure I’m using incorrectly.  Still, they can shift your perspective.

Stay in the Pocket

They say that 50% of success is showing up. True. The other, lesser known 50%?

Sticking around.

The first response in all arenas of life is almost always a “no thanks.” Why?  Because we are all overburdened and we are smart enough to make our lives simpler by filtering out people without passion and conviction.   So push past life’s ambivalence!  Make the world give you a HARD no before you call it quits.

Two emails to customer service won’t get your money back? Three will.

Three minutes of chatting up the bouncer won’t get you in the club? Ten will.

Ten minutes of slightly forced conversation won’t make an impression on the hot girl at the bar? Thirty will.

In life, you have to stick it out. You have to endure, to weather the uncomfortableness of hearing “no” and standing your ground. That is the essence of “staying in the pocket.”  Now to be clear, I’m NOT talking about not taking “no”for an answer. That’s bullshit. We all take no for an answer all the time. Most of the world will tell us no, thats fine. Pick up and move along. If not, you’re probably a real creep and you’re just needlessly pissing people off.

I’m talking about being wise enough to know when “no” is really just a filter for those who won’t tough it out. I’m talking about insisting on a hard no. Like in Fight Club:

If the applicant is young, tell him he’s too young. Old, too old. Fat, too fat. If the applicant then waits for three days without food, shelter, or encouragement he may then enter and begin his training.

Sometimes all you have to do is wait. Stay in the pocket.

Any Given Sunday

More often than not, the outcome you want is out of your control, beyond your skill, out of your league. You’re long odds. So what do you do?

Adopt the Any Given Sunday mentality.

Any given Sunday you pick up the girl you want most. Any given Sunday you kick the bigger guy’s ass. Any given Sunday, you play out of your mind, you hit a level you never thought possible.  You’ve always got a punchers chance. You are NEVER beat before you start.

One time, my buddy, who is a trained fighter, 40 pounds heavier than I am asks if I want to go another round of Ju Jitsu. He’s spent the last 10 minutes crushing me, literally, with his 40 extra pounds of weight and just arm barred me.

I am sore and beat and tired of him destroying me.

But I go again. And what do you fucking know? Before we can really grapple, he sticks out his neck, I catch it in a headlock choke, wrench it back, and stand into a guillotine. No one taught me that. I had no idea what I was doing. There was NO REASON for me to ever win. But I stuck around. And on any given Sunday, the long shot just might come out on top.

Combine these adages and what do you get?

Endure. You just might win.

Never forfeit. Never, ever, ever disqualify yourself. Every time you don’t get what you want, make it be because someone stood hard and fast in your way and beat you. Go out there and flail, flounder, and struggle until you are ground to dust.

It sounds obvious. But its not. I guarantee that if you added up all the things you’re not getting in your life, most of them haven’t been held hard and fast from you. You just quit early.

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