The Girl I Like Has a Boyfriend: What Do I Do? - Charisma on Command

The Girl I Like Has a Boyfriend: What Do I Do?

Girl with a boyfriend

“ The girl I like has a boyfriend / This awesome girl I met has a boyfriend- what do I do?? ”

There are a lot of amazing women who happen to be in relationships when you meet them.  Annoying, right?  Beautiful, fun, smart, charming girls tend to find boyfriends at some point.

Maybe you meet her in a bar.  Maybe she’s a friend of yours that you’ve known for years.  Either way, you know you’d like to date her, and you know she has a boyfriend.  So what should you do?

One option is to pretend that you just want to be friends so that you can get close to her, then plant seeds of doubt about her boyfriend and seeds of attraction about yourself.  Slow play it.  Or you could go for broke, try for it all in one night – just take her out and use your charisma to get her so attracted to you and aroused by you that in the heat of the moment she acts on those emotions.

Both of these options will definitely work, but I think the only real way to go when you meet a girl with a boyfriend is with option #3:


Seriously, what the fuck?!  If you meet a girl with a boyfriend, MOVE ON

Feel free to be friends with her if you want, assuming she’s cool and you actually want to be platonic friends with her.  I find that beautiful women can end up being some of the most fun friends you have.  But don’t do it because you want to “hang around the hoop” and try to sneak in as Johnny Rebound Guy if things don’t work out.  And don’t use your newfound friendship to try to break her up with her boyfriend – it’s manipulative, mean, and it diminishes you.

Even some of the best dating coaches in the world, guys I (mistakenly) used to look up to, will go out of their way to hunt down and destroy a relationship when they know a girl has a boyfriend.  And I think that’s pathetic.

It’s one thing if the girl doesn’t tell you she’s dating anyone (that can’t be helped), but some guys will go for a girl when they know she has a boyfriend she lives with, or even a husband!  The right answer when a girl has a boyfriend is to stop pursuing her sexually.

If you’re getting high off feeling superior to guys your cuckolding, you’re missing the point of learning to be charismatic. And if you’re living in a world where there is only one girl you’re focused on and you’re willing to hurt people to get her, you’ve missed the boat.


I used to think it was okay.  After all, if you say no, she’ll just cheat with someone else, right?  Wrong!  Believing that a girl who gets with you would be willing to get with any average dude is an incredibly low self-esteem belief.  It’s only true if you yourself are an average dude.

The truth is, if you become an uber-successful person who’s spent time learning how to be extremely charismatic, you can get someone to cheat with you even when it is WAY out of character for them.  And if you decide to live with integrity instead, they’ll go on living her monogamous life.


At its core, The Anti-Pickup Line is about living a life of abundance.

If you put the time in or get good coaching, meeting someone amazing isn’t actually that hard.  There are literally millions and millions of smart, fun, beautiful people in the world.

If you have a real philosophy of abundance, if you KNOW, from the bottom of your heart, that you can go out any night of the week and meet someone amazing, you would never bother to hook up with someone with a boyfriend.

Forget trying to steal the girl.  If you’re dead set on ruining other people’s relationships, and nothing I say can change your mind, then this isn’t the site for you.

We should all be striving to learn how to get perfect 10s (in body and mind) AND how to live a life of true abundance and integrity.  And we should view anything less as simply unacceptable.



Leave a Reply


  • Tips To Get A Girl

    March 12, 2013


    Hey great post and some quality advice there. I found your post on reddit and I have to say I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m also a blog author in the dating advice space like yourself.

    I would add that being good with women is almost a superpower and that with great power comes great responsibility.

    On that note I wish you the best for your site and your book.

  • That’s a good conversation I love it.

  • Thelovemachine

    May 22, 2013


    There is this girl in my neighborhood who i think is really cute but she has a boyfriend do i tell her the truth or hide it

    • I’m not a fan of hiding anything from anyone, ever (I’m sure there are exceptions but that’s my go to rule). If she asks you if you think she’s cute, you definitely don’t lie about it.

      At the same time, don’t waste time thinking about how to steal her or what you’ll say/do if/when she becomes single. That type of thought process reeks of scarcity, and will definitely do damage to how you view yourself.

      Be honest without chasing, and then go get yourself a different girl(s). :-)

  • uthrewatruckatmyfacewhenwewere3

    June 18, 2013


    I had to see this site for myself. Congrats on the site and i wish you the best of luck bud.

  • Ernie

    July 5, 2013


    She hasn’t even mentioned her boyfriend. Does this mean anything?

  • […] The Girl I Like Has a Boyfriend: What Do I Do? […]

  • E-Man

    July 29, 2014


    Sometimes I feel like quoting the old N.W.A. song “Gangsta Gangsta” that when a girl tells me that she has a boyfriend, I would say “B***h, stop lying!”

  • jimbo

    January 20, 2015


    I agree with Option #3. Find someone who doesn’t have a boyfriend. There are only 3 billion women on this planet. As for those in favor of convincing a girl to leave her boyfriend…someone else eventually will convince her to leave you.